They say a picture paints thousand words and I say words can create a magnificent canvas.I may not be much into pictures but I my picture are not images but words.They are all made of words. A stranger online once asked me to send a photo of myself to know me better and of course I declined. It's not because he might find me ATTRACTIVE ( ahem) but for morality and security purposes of course. He asked me then if I want a photo of him as he thought he might have offended me.I didn't. Instead, I asked him to describe himself in words. Besides, I don't trust photos these days because they can be deceiving due to photoshop and camera tricks. I asked him to write all his thoughts on certain issues. I asked him to describe himself instead of a picture. I asked him to rell me about his country, his hometown and what his relationship is like with his family. I asked who and what he believes in. What makes him mad and what makes him happy. I wanted to know the person behind the picture. Surprisingly, he exchanged email with me every single day for one full month. I was impressed of his determination.I was able to form an image of him the way he talks about himself and others. Then I finally asked him to send me his picture and I saw the huge difference. AT first glimpse, I saw a picture of a man at his best. I saw a perfect smile. I saw a happy face. But that was just a glimpse of one moment in his life. I'm glad I didn't ask for his picture first because after those conversation we had,I now see beyond just a picture. I saw a man who endure death and drugs. I see a man who wanted so much to be loved and accepted. Did I fall in love with him? No, I feel compassion and pity for him. I started to feel brotherly affection for him. He's the kind that I wanted to start friendship with and keep it for a very long time. He's a delight to talk to. Then he asked me to do the same thing - to write and define myself for him. I wrote this ...
I do not have a beautiful face that you can worship or adore.I rarely smile and when I do,I do not have that killer smile that takes your breath away. I do not have a curvy body that you can be obsessed with or boast around your guy friends and be proud off. I do not have long shiny hair that you would love to smell after you hug me tight. I don't have slender hands or long legs. I do not have seductive eyes as that of Andriana Lima or perfect eyebrows like that of Cara Delevigne. I do not have an ass like that of Kim Kardashian or hips that don't lie as that of Shakira. I don't have beautiful voice so I can sing my life story like Taylor Swift nor can I ever seduce you with my dance moves.No, I do not qualify to the general standard of society's beauty and talent. I cannot identify with women like those you see in COSMO or FHM magazines.Nor can I ever understand those tons of beauty products on those tv commercials. I do not have pouting kissable lips like that of Angelina Jolie.I do not have flawless soft skin. I do not have shiny perfect hair that can be blown by the wind and still looks perfect. I do not know fashion terminologies. No, I am not flawless or perfect. I don't fit in any magazine poll about REAL WOMEN.I do not belong to the general standard of society's beauty. I am so much flawed and deeply scared and they are tatooed in soul. My soul is restless and my heart is usually troubled in most days.My hands are calloused from pulling weeds in our rice field. My skin burned by the sun.My hair is either ponytailed or bunned for convenience. I have a short big boned body.My eyebrows are thick and mismatched. My lips and face are barely touch by cosmetics. My legs and hands are muscular from carrying rice, corn and vegetables that I have to sell to raise money to buy food for the day.My skin are cracked from too much heat and cold exposure yet I barely even had the luxury to apply lotion.I couldn't even afford to buy myself a lotion.My teeth are imperfect and slightly crooked.My nails chipped and didn't even bother to cut them properly.I have wound scars in most parts of my hands and feet due to accidental cuts from working long in our rice field. But ... My calloused hands can catch you when you fall and I can hold your hand when you are nervous.I can reach out to you and pull you through when you fall down. My bulky body is strong ,you can always lean on me when you need someone to lean on.My eyes are the window to my soul that if you take time to look closer,you can see my naked soul and the secrets of my past.In the same way,my eyes can see through your soul.I see beyond your pain and happiness.I see beyond your sighs and laughters.I see beyond the rolling of your eyes or even in your silence.I see your every flexed or tense moves.I know when you're pretending.I just see know and feel you. Yes,I might not fit the general definition of beauty but I have inner beauty that I am willing to share you if you allow me to and be part of you.This is pretty much me.
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This happens when I try to rest my mind but I keep thinking and I seem to keep remembering what I have been thinking and I ended writing them.
Contains all my personal blogs whilst contents are very subjective so ..
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