So today,I just wanted to share something I wrote in my diary.It's very long because they are random and pretty much about anything I can think of the moment.
Last night,I went home and wasted the next 3-4 hours trying to figure out some settings,apps and features on my phone that I can't understand all at once instead of sleeping.Well,I guess this is reality that I have to embrace.No matter how much I love to still be in the past free from the crazy TRANSFORMERS IRON MAN ERA,I can't just be the same because things change and I have to somehow catch up some basic skills.I have to update myself with gadgets and computers to be able to connect and relate with others specially at work and some online services.Because today,services are mostly machine operated and if I don't want to adopt,then I shouldn't be here in the city in the first place.So to be able to survive each day,I have to be at least knowledgeable to some basic skills so I at least know I exist in the same world.
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I was born with natural cravings to fruits and veggies or anything green or leafy.Maybe,in my previous life I was a horse but I can't even run within three minutes without going breathless so probably not.Okay,maybe a goat but I've never saw a really OBESE GOAT so I'm disqualified.Maybe I was a panda.That cute fluffy Panda.I don't know.
Oh hello there! If you happen to to be lost in your online quest and you ended here,this is a blog about...I'm not actually sure.Let's just say,about FOOD and definitely not about my before and after life fantasies. So last night was really a delightful surprise.I'm the only passenger and I'm a bit scared matter of fact.The moment I took my seat beside the driver,(which I always prefer) I noticed a bible opened in the book of Mark with a pen as a book mark.I suddenly feel relaxed and safe.I don't see the connection really but well,a bible lying around has it's calming effect on me.And then,kuya started a convie about how confusing a 20 pesos from a 50 pesos due to the crazy changes in terms of design and color.They look the same and it's really challenging specially at night he said.According to him,three times in a row last night,he mistakenly took 20 pesos as fifty but everytime he gave the change to his passenger,thankfully they were all honest enough returning it to him.
He compared it to the American dollar which he said had the same color and design since the 1800's and he thought the government is just wasting time focusing on the design on the money when there are too many issues to focus on.We ended talking about the annoying things this country is facing that is of course linked to CORRUPTION. Before I realized,I have no idea how we ended talking about his dramatic and painful married life.I think I asked if he got kids and he opened up about wife going abroad,met a well to do British and married him.Took the kids with her and now he is on his own.He don't support the kids anymore because apparently new husband is rich and can compensate the luxurious lifestyle of his ex wife and kids.This is just one side of the story of course but I feel his pain because according to him,not one of his kids even visit him anymore.Just too sad. He said he use to afford the luxurious lifestyle of his family but when business went down,wife left him for a rich British.That's the story according to him. it's even sadder because they didn't seal their marriage in paper so it's just easy for wife to marry someone.Divorce is not yet legal here and of course,to cut the story short he doesn't have any hold or right to her because she can just marry anyone.There's no marriage bond.I just feel sad for kuya . It's just incredibly amazing how you can learn simple things from random strangers.When you actually listen,observe and interact.I'm glad I've kept away my earphone and talked to him.This is one of my favorite when I meet random people and we talk about things and I feel like I know them for a long time.Well,I did tell him that his story is encouraging and admirable.I shared him a bit about mom of raising us alone.I also mentioned that I don't have any idea how it feels to have a father because I never had one. When I was about to leave,he wished he could talk to me again someday.And I told him to take care.I went home with a happy heart and grinning like an idiot.Well Luchog and Boochog (our cute babies) are more than happy to see me too. I did had a fantastic day! I need a phone.Okay,I might have categorize it as a NEED but actually it's a WANT in the world of practical people.I'm an old fashioned woman with attachment issues so gadgets don't usually thrill me.I don't even have any clue of unit differences.I don't know the specs of a phone.I'm always one hell of a dumb idiot when it comes to gadgets.When I asked friends what phone they recommend,they would tell me to check the specs and I was like WHAT?! I don't know what it means.
I want to be a billionaire! Nope.I think I couldn't handle it.I could not even handle a purse full of coins.I think it would be too complicated to even keep a cent.So what I really wanted is a baby.BABIES actually.Just kidding.They are whinny and too cute to ignore.
Okay,WORLD PEACE.Nah,It's too much to ask I suppose and I'm not the right person to ask because I'm not Nelson Mandela or Angelina Jolie.Also,if there's world peace then I think that would be the end of everything because everyone will die out of BOREDOM.Boredom can actually kill these days apparently. Actually I wonder what happens to the world if electricity is shut for just a minute WORLDWIDE! I think it would be more chaotic than an all the actual wars in history combined! Today,we live in a world were electricity seemed to be more important than food,air and water.Almost everything is being run by electricity.I really wonder what happens to the world if all sources of electricity runs out.I wonder really. Anyways,going back I really have too many things that I'm dying to have depending on each situation each day.I could never run out of things I wanted.The more I wanted something,the more my list goes on and on.I'm too confuse to even categorize my wants from my needs. I'm dying to have that confidence to stand in front of a crowd.I'm dying to have the ability to see myself beautiful and love the way I look.I'm dying to go back to school.I'm dying to have a bigger savings.Really,I can go on and on.But I'M NOT GONNA DIE.Don't celebrate yet. I really wanted too many things.I have too many goals.Too many plans but all faded away ....because all I really really want is to eat.I'm hungry.... |
This happens when I try to rest my mind but I keep thinking and I seem to keep remembering what I have been thinking and I ended writing them.
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