"Support her and stand by her but let her make her own decisions.Let her fail and succeed on her own.Just let her learn from her own experiences but always be there no matter what"I think this is a wise advise in any type of relationship specially parents to their kids.Or people in a committed relationships.I think this is one of the major reasons when we get into arguments because we have these certain expectations of people and we try so hard to be controlling.I mean we are mostly unaware we have that pattern in our lives where we wanted to keep things under our control. We question when people behave differently from our own values.Or feel frustrated when certain expectations weren't met.
That's the thing.Most of the time,we are doing a huge favor the people we love by protecting and caring for them. At least,that's what we thought not until we choke them.We thought we are doing them a favor,protecting them but the truth is we are not giving them the freedom to build a life of their own. If you are a parent,you would do everything to protect your kids.You have certain fears and reservations about things and when you notice changes in the pattern,you freak out.You would talk them out and we worry a lot.We try to figure out how to protect them predicting possibilities forgetting we are becoming a control freak for our kids and that will cause the huge collision. When you are committed to someone, we have certain expectations that when failed to meet may result to arguments that can escalate to something serious.That's the painful thing about loving and caring.Sometimes we fail to see that they have a life to live on their own.That experience is needed to grow and mature and those are two of the best things we can let those we loved to have on their own. If you are dealing with a friend, sometimes you cross the line if you care so much for your friend and you give unsolicited advise.You see,I have an unverified theory about that because I believe LOVE is so powerful that it is express in various forms.It takes time for me to build trust and intimacy with someone and once I do,I become very protective of them.I would do everything to see them happy and sometimes forgetting that they have to create their own lives I'm thankful I heard this line because I think it will make a huge difference in my life starting from now on.I will always keep this in mind to treat my friends and family with so much love and respect that I don't have to compel them to act the way I wanted them to but to just be there being the friend that I am supporting them when they need encouragement and just be that person they can hold on.I also wish they do the same to me.It would be such a nice place to be in.
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This happens when I try to rest my mind but I keep thinking and I seem to keep remembering what I have been thinking and I ended writing them.
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