My diary today,just thought of posting a piece of it... Life is really hard to understand because it's not meant to be understood unless you are Oprah or Dr Phil then I guess you have too.I think it's suppose to be discovered and just live it as it is supposed to be and not to stress over about things that didn't happen yet.Or talk so much of possibilities and make other people worry so much,as a result some resorted to mastectomy even if they are currently pretty much in good shape because someone who knows much about life advised them of having possible cancer in the future.In fear,masectomy must be performed.Poor boobies ooops babies,no more breast feeding. (and poor husband too,no more..yeah,that kind of thing they do:) I get it now why I never finish Psychology at all because I suck.I know nothing about anything.I can't even make any sense of my own shit.Fair enough.I think I can stop sulking about not finishing my precious major in Psychology. Anyways,If I were you mate,I wouldn't worry much.We have Optimus Prime to protect the earth from outside attacks.And we have Megan Fox' body as a shield from our enemies.Together,they can shield us from harm. BUT...sometimes,I come to a point where in I don't really get it.It's the people in my life and around me that's really complicating things for me (and yeah,I'm affected because I care too much of what others feel and think.I have self diagnosed myself with OCD!).Deal with it. Here are some few things that I have to deal with mostly ...
and well,It gets so confusing.See these eggs? They feel for me...They know and understand what I feel...
Apparently,this is how they see me when eating and even if I am eating a healthy food,they make me feel like I've eaten all the garbage in the world!
Apparently,I'm still Fat Glowie considering my healthy diet and active physical activities... Anyways,the biggest turn on for me and the sexiest people in the world for me are those who are really highly intellectual and has got good sense of humor.Beauty fades and so is form and skin.I would still go for those who has healthy organs and flawless skin.That's my definition of sexy coz I have those.I think?!
I'm not fond of make up (and girly stuff) I am as bland as plain rice I know.BUT on occasions that I have to wear make up,I get that "kill-me-now-stare". People always get amused and shocked everytime I wear make up... once in a blue moon...yeah,I have that effect to people and my neighbor's dog too.Sometimes they wonder if I'm from outer space.
So I like being like this... well,or not close at all.Hahaha.She obviously has great fashion sense and tall and good looking and gorg.Anywho,moving forward... BUT if I wear dresses and gowns on special occasions,that's like once after 50 dog years,I get this treatment... ...and my behind included (winks).So see,that's mainly the reason why I don't wear dresses because they are so skimpy.It makes me feel like I'm walking naked in public the way I'm stared at plus the wind blowing makes me vulnerable and I can easily panic.(hahahahaha in my dreams!!!) but sometimes I do get compliments similar and I find it awkward even if they mean it decently.Maybe I'm not just being used to it and will never be...
But despite all the ironies in life,there are things that I agree with and one of them is Kelly Clarkson's song "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".I surely agree not until I saw Ian Somerhalder's eyes and my knees weaken and I feel like dying.Well,in the end,it seemed that it still depends.Apparently,Ian's eyes can kill me and makes me weaker.Arfff! Or maybe,the next time I wake up,I just need to live life the way I wanted it and the way I like it and the way how it is supposed to be.That I have to stop obsessing with pleasing other people or so afraid of hurting others because no matter what I do,not everybody can like me.Maybe,no body likes me at all because I'm weird and annoying and such a snub since '86 and I guess this time,they have to deal with it.
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This happens when I try to rest my mind but I keep thinking and I seem to keep remembering what I have been thinking and I ended writing them.
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