OPENING SCENE Mark needed to use the bathroom and was waiting to what seemed to be forever.Shane tried to get Jenny and Carmen's attention but was ignored.She let herself in and saw the two making out in the shower so she just told Mark to use the bushes.(They don't lock the bathroom doors when taking shower considering they live with a guy) I'm Mark Wayland, and I live in a house with two lesbians. My name is Jenny Schecter. I'm Shane. And this is gonna be a document of my journey. Initial observations and theories. FLASHBACK (from episode 205) Mark: Okay, I’ve go a question. What is the primary lesbian sex act? Jenny: The primary lesbian sex act? Mark: Yeah well, for straight people it’s fucking right? I mean everything we do, the kissing, the fondling, the foreplay… all of it leads up to that ultimate foregone conclusion. Jenny: Mark: *scoffs* It’s not possible. Unless we’re talking dildos which is cool… but it’s not. Shane: Are you fucking kidding, it’s completely possible. Mark: Woah, I’m asking ‘cause I wanna know. I’m trying to gain some understanding here! Shane: Where do you live, Mark? It’s entirely possible! Mark: I’m sorry. Jenny: Mark, do you want us to demonstrate because it’s obvious what this whole thing is leading up to, right? STRAPPED ON Just being creative in their sexual activity so Al suggested they should try the whole STRAP ON THING and Dana is not sure about it. Dana: Is it a bisexual thing? You trying to have your cake and eat your pussy too? Al: No.It's not a bisexual thing. Dana:Okay, good.Because, wait.I don't wanna do that with you.I mean, if you're trying to make me into a man because you think that there's something missing, then I want you to go ahead ... Al: Dana, many bonafide lesbians find strapping it on the ultimate way of fucking.And I think it'd be really hot for you to fuck me like that. Later on,they went to sex toy shop it was funny how the woman went on and on about different kinds of strap one and dildos ranging from sizes to sensation it gives making Dana uncomfortable . gif source:delphinestark Of all the displays,Dana picked on a butt plug! And she saw someone she knew entered the shop so to avoid being embarrassed further,she got out from the shop like this... CAN THEY JUST CUDDLE Tina woke up hearing the angry voice of Helena with whoever she's talking with on the phone.(I think it was Winnie) Tina pretends she's still asleep when she saw Helena coming to the bedroom.Helena transformed from an angry LIONESS to an adorable loving cuddly bear seeing Tina in her bed. She woke her up with her kisses excitedly informing Tina about her plans for the day.Tina has to remind her that she's got doctor's appointment with Bette. She's not happy with what she heard but asked Tina to meet her in her office after the check up. Tina suggested it's better if she'll be the one to come to her place since doctor's office was near her place but Helena didn't like the idea and Tina thinks it's because her place was too simple for Helena. MAMA BEE & MAMA TEEMama B: Is that our baby? Doc: That's your baby, and those are her fingers.Very well formed. Mama T: Isn't she amazing? Mama B: Oh, it's like she's waving at us.Look. Doc: She's showing you her profile. Soon to be mothers happily watching their baby.Those calm,tender and happy faces. Later on they were at Bette's place.Tina helped Bette put the groceries on her fridge.Tina thanks Bette for going with her.Bette said she loved it more than she could imagine.Tina offered her a hug that had sparked their love and desire for each other. Tina: Come here. Bette: You feel so good. Tina: You smell good.Touch me here.Feel this.Touch me here. Bette:Oh, my God.Oh, my fucking God Are you sure it's okay? It sparked their feelings for each other and they made love screaming of deprivation,longing,desire,forgiveness and a hundred different ways to orgasm that frozen my brain for a while. Since this is their first time again to make love,allow me to put more gif because I'm such a perve! THE PORN INDUSTRY Mark went to submit a footage of his video but the marketer was not happy because he wanted something that would satisfy their audience.Men who are Red-blooded, testosterone-crazed, American men who do not give a fuck about some kind of anthropological bullshit! They want hot, lesbian sex and the marketer wanted it NOW!! Since Mark's video doesn't qualify for porn,he was asked to return every penny he advance him to be returned because he is in direct violation of his contract. I wonder though if Mark didn't fall in love with Shane,will it make a huge difference in his decision? And if he claimed to be someone who promotes and supports inspiring things,he should know where to sell his video and not to some sort of PORN MARKETING place. BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR HEART At the planet,Bette playing the big sis to Kit.She reminded Kit to slow down because she doesn't want to see her hurt.So it seemed that Bette's experience on infidelity made her more understanding and considerate because instead of the whole pushy attacking tactic,she just calmly told Kit how proud she was for turning her life around and she's in awe of how she was doing recently at the same time reminding her of the situation. Kit happily told her Benjamin is coming just to see her and she prepared a special dinner for him.Lara ordered special lobsters from Maine just for him. True enough,Kit got stood up.Just as she prepared everything romantic and presentable including herself,Benjamin called telling her she can't make it.(C'mon Kit! You know better.Do you really want to date a married man? Can you atleast consider the poor wife waiting for him to come home but instead have to come to you) JOB HUNTING Shane got a request to work for someone only to find out it was Vernica. V: Cover of the New York Times Magazine! Pretty good, huh, Shane? S: Yeah, it's pretty great.I don't know why you requested me, though. V: You do hair, don't you? Apparently, that's your life's ambition. S:Don't fuck with me, Veronica. V: How am I fucking with you when I offer you the world on a silver platter? What's so wrong with seeing the potential in somebody and giving them a chance to make something of themselves? Did I underestimate you, Shane? Or did I just mistake you for a person of substance? S:No.I think you mistook me for one of your one of your little tricks who'd let you slap her around and be grateful for the privilege of taking your shit. V:Are we getting to some core issues, Shane? Poor Shane. S:Fuck you. V:What about the possibility that I'm right about you? That you really are better than this life you're living. S:Veronica? Listen to what I'm saying to you.I have no magic. And there is no mojo.So whatever it is that you're looking for, it doesn't exist! Okay? V:Then why don't you do my fucking hair. S:No thank you. I like how bitchy Veronica can be but at the same time has the ability to see potential in people.The only thing is she once got Shane's trust only she fuck it up and she seemed a delicate bruised apple who do not want to try again.It could be that Veronica strike a nerve in Shane that she just wanted to ignore.This is the same Shane who do not do relationships,who fell in love to a married woman and when she fell in love again,she run away and let herself hurt repeatedly.This is how she deals with her shit.She can do great things for others but she can't even do something for herself.Masochism at it's finest. Like when Carmen confronted her because she wanted to talk about their feelings and what's going on rather than putting a mask on every pain.She wanted her to face her fears and take risks. C: What's up? Shane.It's I feel like there's something going on with you, and I would like to know what it is. Shane: Look, I just Aw, fuck, you know, it's - it's hard for me to have you and Jenny in my face all the time. Carmen: You're having a hard time with it? Shane: You know, I'm happy for you guys.Looks like you two are having a blast together and that's a very good thing. Carmen: Then why would it be so hard for you? Now, Shane, I want you to look at me.I know how hard you work to keep yourself at a distance from everyone else on the planet, but it's not working for you anymore. Shane: It's working fine. Carmen: No, it's not.It's not, because of this.(put's Shane's palm to her chest) Okay? Do you feel this? Most people don't have this.This is rare. Shane: So what? Carmen: That's right. So what? So what, if nothing ever comes out of this? So what, if you'll never act on it? You are so convinced that having a relationship near you is going to kill you. Shane: Because it will. Carmen: And that's why I'm with Jenny.It works because she and I are both biding our time, waiting for the real deal to come along. Shaen: Yeah.You don't think you and Jenny are the real deal? Carmen: No.Jenny wouldn't know what the real deal was if it bit her in the ass.She is so lost in her own darkness. I think she likes it in there.But do you know what's fucked up? Is that you and I know what the real deal is. We saw it the first time we laid eyes on each other.You're not living your life, Shane. And if you don't take any risks then you might as well be dead. OUCH ONE THOUSAND TIMES! FEELING TOLERATED JENNY met with Charlote and she was talking about being tolerated just because she's gay.They were talking about him when he joined them.He over heard her say that and he commented that it seemed acceptable for a girl these days to be gay because it's hot for men. Charlote asked him what's with the double standard and Burr explained that actors today has to hide their identity because hypothetically,no studio is ever willing to pay a guy faggot. Charlote was convinced no one gives a fuck anymore and he's got nothing to lose with the millions he earned.After he left,Jenny followed him telling him she totally agree with everything he said that if some gay actor will come out as gay,it would be a gift to the world but will destroy his career.She also pointed out that Charlotte is an asshole and no God earning his trust and told her if she's still interested working on the book,she can go see him at his place. HORMONES After the hot make out,Tina made it clear to Bette not because they had a mind blowing orgasmic sex doesn't mean they are back together.They agreed to concentrate on being good parents as their new commitment to each other. Helena went to pick up Tina and she said she doesn't feel like going out.Helena suggested if they could go to her place.Tina asked her if there's a problem with staying on her place or maybe she wanted to be in control all the time and she transformed like someone possessed her or something. Helena: I'm not - I'm not so sure that I like this.I don't think I like this...Because you're not acting yourself and I'm not sure that I like it! Oh. Tina: I see.Is it my apartment? Is it just too ordinary for you? Or, uh, you know.maybe it's that you need to be in control all the time.Or maybe you need an audience.That's it.That's what works for you. I don't think you're interested in sex unless there's some sort of risk or someone's watching or something else is going on! Here we go.(opens her bedroom window) Hey! We're about to have sex! You wanna come watch?! Helena: Tina, your neighbors! Tina: Oh! My neighbors! That is a - that is a wonderful idea! Mm! You are so fucking hot! Hey, we're about to have sex, me and my girlfriend, do you wanna come down here and watch us?! We're just gonna fuck! Helena: Have you gone mad?! Tina: I don't know! What do you think? What do you think, do you think I'm fucking crazy?! No, I think - Are you turned on?! Helena: I think your hormones are raging out of control and I think I know better than to reason with you. Tina:Fucking hormones! What, I'm not allowed to have actual feelings now?! Helena decided to leave her alone and Tina insist she should stay but she left anyway.She return to her senses and cry. Wow,was she that conflicted? ( That was hard for Laurel Holloman running to and fro while carrying a heavy baby with her) NOW SHE'S TALKING Meanwhile,Bette went to see her therapist and talk about the changes she noticed in Tina.She talked about their intimate details including her fears and worries. Dan: How did it feel - having sex with her? (How weird that is to hear a man asking about your sex life) Bette: It was fucking amazing.It was just fucking amazing.It was like all of the reasons that we fell apart just disappeared and, and it was like I had it was like I had my life back for just one second.And it was also really sad. Dan: Sad? How so? Bette: Because I've lost her.Because we don't well, like she doesn't belong to me anymore.Like I - it feels someone else had been touching her and making love to her and I felt that other person and I felt her connection to that other person, you know? And and she did things that we had never done together.And it was like she was so free. I mean, I always treated her so gingerly, you know, like she was some fragile thing.And now, even though she's pregnant, its like, it's like she's it's like she's unbreakable.I don't... It was shocking, I guess.It was shocking it was shocking that she was so sure of herself. Dan: Bette,Tina's been though some major ordeals over the past year.Your break up.Uh, new career.Her pregnancy. These things can change a person.Make them stronger.Don't you think it might be a good thing? Bette: Of course it's a good thing.It just means she doesn't need me anymore Awwww,she'll need you Bette but for now,how about needing her for once.How about being vulnerable to her again.Like when you lay on her lap like a little child allowing her to stroke your hair.Or when you break down and she picked you up.When you feel so tired from work and you go home and she just listens to you.It wasn't always her that needed you.You are the one who needed her.It's a give and take.You can 't always be the giver.Just take some time.One step at a time. REVELATION Jenny went to get her Burr Connor DVD's from Mark but he's not around so she decided to check his stuff coz that's the right thing to do at someone's room.Jenny found out about the recorded video of Shane and Carmen's love confession. She was crying when she went to see Burr and they ended comforting each other like pals.Burr shared his stories and he has to fire her but promised her friendship. gif source: betteandtina on tumblr Poor,Jenny,she's hurt again.What is she wearing by the way.She seemed to be in a cos play for the CHRONICLES OF NARNIA. At the CAC Queen of Charm and Deception Helena walked in at the CAC and everyone kiss her ass and put a poker face by treating her nice, but not Bette who was deeply annoyed of Helena's presence.Since she doesn't want to leave,Bette asked one of the artist to show her proposal to Helena for dealing with the passage of time. Lol! Helena called Tina to checked how she's doing and I love how Tina made Helena like a little girl listening to her mother. Helena: How are you feeling today? Tina: Same as yesterday. Helena: You're coming over to my house tonight. Tina: Are you sure you want to see me? What if I have some sort of hormonal fit? Helena: I'm sorry, that was that was uncalled for on my behalf.Accept my apology? Tina: Look, if you want me in your life, you just have to understand one thing, okay? I - I'm not some sort of toy that you can take down off the shelf and play with whenever it suits your mood.You understand? Helena: Yes, you - you're not a toy. Tina: And if we have some sort of disagreement? The fact that I'm pregnant, it's not fair game.I don't want to be reduced to some sort of raging, hormonal lunatic. Helena: It'll never happen again. Tina: Good. Helena: So do I see you later on? Tina: Okay. Helena: Good.See ya later, darling.(Only Helena can say Darling in the most adorable way!) Imagine if it was Bette,there would be no sorry.I understand,nothing like that.It would be her shoving all her feelings to herself and Tina doing the same thing.The good thing with Helena though is she's very expressive ,romantic and thoughtful despite being controlling and a bitch. Later on at her apartment,we get to see another impressive side of Helena.Turns out she is a great cook and at one point considered to be a chef.(What made her stop? She'll make a good food both for the body and soul) She prepared a fancy meal for Tina. .Massage and kiss her feet and treat her like a queen! (Wow,she did out do Bette on this one.Bette can't cook and never rubbed Tina's feet like that nor ever kissed it!) afterwards,she toured Tina around her new house including a room for her and the baby. Kit went to see Ivan who was in an AA meeting because she needed someone to talk to after Benjamin stood her up. Ivan brought her to a bar and Kit met his girlfriend who seemed cold towards her.She found out Ivan was trying to romance her at the same time she's doing Miss Thang,her girlfriend of five years. The ending was a delight.A happy calm and hopeful Bette hanging the art she bought at Michael's gallery uttering to herself that both her babies will love it. Dadna having a hard time putting the strap on and a very turned on Alice grabbed Dana to bed. Ah,everyone seemed horny this episode including me.If not horny,heart broken...
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