" Why would I pay my bill to someone based overseas? You don't even live here,how can you help me at all?! " (send your payment through my BPI account,I will be able to help you right away by then,I promise:) ESCALATIONS.THE MOST UNWANTED PART OF BEING AN SME.BUT SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF ENJOYING IT SPECIALLY WHEN CUSTOMERS SAY SOMETHING HILLARIOUSLY CHALLENGING :) "I know my country because I live here so don't you dare direct me.I know where Queenstown is,it's in Auckland you idiot! " (yeah,you really did know your geography so well,how dare me!) "Oh my God,oh my God?! Whereabouts are you?! How did you manage to answer my call when you are not in NZ?!" (Well,it's intercepted through NASA statellite I guess:) " I don't want to speak to you.Put me to your superior! I want to speak to the CEO of your company!!!" (Okay,do you want to speak to God?) "Can you speak English? I want to speak to someone who can actually speak and understand English!" ( Un mumento por favor,leche ka! mi !nsulto,!ntiendes!) Why are you charging me when you didn't give me any phone number at all?! This should be free service! (Life is hard ,can't afford freebies mate.I'm actually charging you for the sexual counselling we just had for 5 minutes now.I didn't even include the sexual harrasment fee) "So you can't help me at all?! I already provided you the street and the phone number but still you can't help me at all?! " (Mate,let's try the other way around.Take out your phone and dial your own self,maybe things will get clearer in your monstrously drunk state tonight) I'm so horny and I want someone to SUCK me,can you help me? (Yes,I've got two numbers that I recommend you to ring.First is the MENTAL CRISIS LINE and the second one is the NATIONAL POISON CENTER,which one would you prefer?) Why can't you just ring the number for me? (Alright lazy,give me your phone and I'll dial them for you) Why can't you do your job properly?! (It depends what kind of JOB you want me to do mate) You shouldn't be working there! Your company should not hire people like you! (I know right!Such a waste of time talking to you when I can actually work for Queen Elizabeth!) Whoa,whoa,whoa! I cannot understand you. You're speaking too fast! (I'm not speaking too fast,It's just that your senses are too SLOW to respond) Oh come on,they have been living there for hundred years! (Sorry mate,you didn't tell me you're looking for VAMPIRES!)
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