By Criticizing we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.It is also like crowing pigeons,they always come home
When dealing with people,let us remember we are not dealing with creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity I will speak ill of no man and will speak good of everyone Instead of condeming people,let's try to understand them.Let's try to figure out why they do and what they do God himself didn't criticize until the end of days of man,why should you? the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated people often become invalid to win sympathy and attention Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you,be afraid of friends who flatter you give honest and sincere appreciation.Every man you meet should be treated as your superior in some ways PRINCIPLES 1) don't criticize or complain 2) give honest and sincere appreciation 3) arouse in the other person an eager want
GOOD MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHT INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING
one can win the attention and time cooperation of even the most sought after people by becoming genuinely ineterested in them if we want to make friends ,let's put ourselves to do the things for other people that requires time when somebody calls on the telephone say "hello" in tones that speaks how pleased you are to have the person call that radiates interest and enthusiasm showing genuine interest can develop customer loyalty to your company POWER OF SMILE
POWER OF LISTENING THAN TALKING
SAMPLE COMPLAINT SPIEL PACIFIER I wanted to personally thank you for calling back to tell us about this.You've done us a great favor in which way directory service see it as a way to improve more.your feedback will be of great help to improve our service and will help us to be more careful next time.I appreciate the time you spent just to tell us this problem .. " many calls a doctor when all they wanted is audience" Rememeber that the people you are talking to are hundreth times more interested in THEMSELVES and their wants and their problems than they are in you and your problems.A persons toothache menas more to that person than a famine in China which killed million people.A bail on one's neck interests more than forty earthquakes in Africa.
ARGUMENT STRATEGIES 1) welcome the disagreement
2) DISTRUST YOUR FIRST INSTINCTIVE IMPRESSION
3) CONTROL YOUR TEMPER
4) LISTEN FIRST
5) LOOK FOR AREAS OF AGREEMENT
6) BE HONEST
7) PROMISE TO THINK OVER YOUR OPPONENTS IDEAS AND STUDY THEM CAREFULLY 8) THANK YOUR OPPONENT SINCERELY FOR THEIR INTEREST 9) POSTPONE ACTION TO GIVE BOTH SIDES TIME TO THINK THROUGH THE PROBLEM
THE DANIEL WEBSTER STRATEGY He uses remarks as ;
Kindliness,friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world
A "no" response is the most difficult response according to professor over street.It's the most difficult handicap to overcome.when you have said "no" all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with your self.
Socrates use the "yes-yes" approach to come up with a conclusion HANDLING COMPLAINTS Let the other person talk themselves out.They know more about their business and problems.Ask them questions.Let them tell you a few things. 1) Don't interrupt even if you disagree 2) Complainants won't pay attention to you while they still have a lot ideas to express 3) Listen patiently and with an open mind ,be sincere 4) encourage them to express their ideas fully 5) Let other person do the talking.It saves 6)stop telling what to do or what I wanted them to do but start asking how they wanted it If you want want enemies,excel your friends but if you want friends,let your friends excel you.If we excel them,they might feel envious and inferior.If we let them excel they feel important.
FACT: All people you meet have high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation.Inorder to change people,appeal to the nobler motives ex: dramatize ideas and throw down challenges
I WANT TO BE ASKED NOT TOLD Always give opportunity to people to do things themselves.let them do on their own and learn from their own mistakes.Rephrase your approach such as " you might consider this or what do you think of this?" We have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes,what matters is not what I think of him but what he thinks of himself.Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime Let us give praise always even in the slightest improvement that inspires people to keep moving Charles Dickens was once a boy in London who lived in slum where he was rejected repeatedly but kept on trying till somebody accepted his writtings According to BF Skinner,when criticism is minimized and praised emphasized,the good things people do wil reinforced the poorer things will -for lack of attention
PRINCIPLES /SUMMARY 1) Don't complain or criticize 2) Give honest and sincere appreciation 3) arouse on the other person an eager want 4) SMILE 5) remember that the person's name is to that person the sweetest and most imortant sound in any language 6) be a good listener,encourage others to talk about themselves 7) talk in terms of the person's interest 8) make the other person important and do it sincerely 9) the best way to avoid argument is to avoid it 10) show respect to other person's opinionm.Never say they are wrong because there's no wrong opinion 11)begin in friendly way 12) get the other person agree with you in a nice way by pointing out what's in for them 13)let the other person do a great deal of talking 14)let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers 15)appeal to the nobler motives 16)dramatize your ideas 17) throw down a challenge 18)begin with praise and honest appreciation 19)call attention to their mistake indirectly 20)talk about your own mistake before pinpointing other's 21)ask questions instead of giving direct orders 22)let the other person save face
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