I have spent my weekend rest days binge watching Taylermade’s you tube vlogs. I found her you tube channel last Saturday because it was on my suggested list when I was just scanning over the tons of videos on my suggested list.It was that video of her and Sawyer and I just know something is very interesting. True enough, I was right! After I’ve watched that video,I subscribed to her channel because I knew this is the content that I would love to follow. WHAT ABOUT HER Since creating a YouTube account in 2012, I have followed too many youtubers and have come across varieties of entertainment online as source of entertainment and happiness. At times, I have come across youtube vlogs that have inspired and encouraged me in a big way. In fact, I have virtual friend and family and have been communicating with them more than the real friends I have with me because I feel that I finally belong or met group of people who have the same interests as mine and just the feeling of being understood is really a great reliever for me. Our world is indeed progressively and it’s just easy to go online and get encouragement from group of people you never know and haven’t actually met. Well of course, it has its ups and downs so it is our responsibility to be very careful with our personal details on what we chose to share online. For me, following online accounts has been my comfort and my little outlet every single day for years. I have been awed and amazed of how people can be that creative and entertaining online. I thought I have already seen the best of the best content in YouTube until I keep discovering things that are amazing and very entertaining.
There’s just something in her vlog that penetrates my sould and gay heart. I admit it is not the typical vlog that most people online would be interested in. In fact, it might come across as too basic or boring for others considering the huge varieties of stuff we have online but for me, it it’s everything! I’ve watched her videos repeatedly because I wanted to understand where my feelings are coming from. I realized it was drawn from a combination of deep admiration of her strength and courage on how she faced her mistakes and made it as her inspiration to improve. She is the total opposite of me and I am easily interested in people who are opposite me. I admire her being outspoken and determined attitude. I just admire how she turned her life around. I can identify with some of her life struggles especially when she was juggling between work, school and as a full time mom. Well, I am not a full time mom but I have been working and studying full time and I just know how this can be draining. How much more if you have a toddler to look after school! I cannot relate to what it’s like to be in the same sex relationship or how it feels to marry someone serving the military but this is my effing ULTIMATE fantasy. A woman can dream too! If most men fantasize about threesome or super models, I fantasize being in a relationship with someone serving the army or military. I don’t know but I find that sexy and such a turn on for me. I spent hours over the weekend watching her vlogs until I came across her "Love Story" video. It was so raw and genuine and pure that I downloaded the video offline and just listen to it during my spare time or when I am stuck in traffic. I just love listening to it over and over. I know it may sound creepy at some point but I have drawn so much positive feelings and inspiration from it. For some reason, listening to her while she narrates her love story and beautiful friendship moved me. It makes me fall in love and really moved me to tears at times. I have already read and watched tons of love stories that have moved, awed and touched me but this one goes straight to my heart and I just cannot find the perfect words at the moment to describe how I am feeling. I was beyond amazed listening to her thoughts because she is a combination of past and present perfectly twisted that turned into a beautiful masterpiece. This is the kind of my “go to video” when I needed inspiration or I need to pull myself back on track. I can relate to the feeling of wanting so much to be better because you have that person that inspired you the most. I mean at least, I had that moment before where I was always happy and inspired coming to work and just the feeling of wanting to be the best of the best just so I can be at par with that person that I was in loved with. Well, it’s just all memory to me now but I am not bitter, I am thankful that despite us not ending together I still have the best memories. I was better version of myself than the time I didn’t meet this person so I am grateful and thankful. I have tons of questions and things I would love to know more about her and Mindy’s relationship but I also understand it has limitations. I have to give respect to their privacy and accept whatever they decided to share to the public. Tayler was very careful in what she shares and I wish I can get more information especially Mindy’s thoughts on being an instant mother. I wanted to know what made her chose Tayler and what qualities she sees in her. Was she her first woman relationship? I wanted to ask from both of them what it’s like growing up. Were they gay ever since or was this something that was just developed naturally? How did she have to that point where she realized and was so sure of marrying Mindy? What are their thoughts in representing the LGBTQ community? It was just amazing watching a teenager who made mistakes but rather than sucking it up, she acknowledge her mistake, chose to stand up and matured well than most people her age.She made her daughter her world and her motivation to better herself and to keep moving on and the rest of the good luck followed. She is very much aware of the mistake she made and instead of being stuck of the guilty feelings, she took a whole different route and went to a different way and made that positive change. Yes, it might be boring to some and it could be that there are already tons of lesbian stories put out there for young people to look up and get encouragement at this present time. However, for me hers is unique because it is so beautifully flawed. Tayler amazes me. She knows what she likes; she is very clear with what she wanted. She is a fighter, a woman with beauty and brains. I just loved her maturity and personality. Another reason why she is very interesting for me is how she is very clear and stright forward with what she wanted. It was just few years ago, she was this pregnant 17 year old girl who have amazingly owned up her mistake and then face the consequences. She probably have faced criticisms and tons of unpleasant moments. It was all fine. Just as they thought all turns out well, imagine her parents and friend shock when she went again and tells them she is in love to her female best friend. Now, we are not dealing with early pregnancy but a lesbian mom. Well, it seemed all fine all went well. Then came another surprise when she married her bestfriend turned lover in less than a year. It didn't end there. She was so committed into this new family and choice she made that she was willing to leave everything she got in Texas and move to Arizona just so she can be closer to her wife. Wow! She is something! Maybe, I was so drawn to their story because of the reasons I have pointed out above. She mentioned on their LOVE STORY vlog how Mindy joined the military to better her career and to provide a better future for her and Sawyer. It was moving and made my gay heart gayer. At this point of my life, I want to meet that person that will be my life. The person whose name makes my whole body trembles in deep awe and admiration. I want to meet that person who will push me to discover the best version of myself and to inspire me to be better and better each day. |
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