Sometimes,in the the most silent moment,I can hear the loudest thoughts from a far.At times,I can hear my voice from the inside of my head.But I am not mentally unstable.I'm fine really.Maybe,I suppose? Gosh,I'm doubting myself. Right.Before I start,I want to let you know I'm not doing this to explain myself because I don't owe anyone an explanation. Ooops,look at me I am already explaining! Isn't it ironic how sometimes we say things in a funny way? Why? probably to be safe and to sound neutral and more acceptable.It's like saying "I am fine" but I am not in reality.It's like replying with a smiley but deep inside " I am melting in sadness". When I say " I don't care" is probably one of the most ironic thing people loved saying but doesn't mean it actually.Most people who usually say they don't care actually care a lot.Why would they brought it up in the first place if they don't care? It's like a defense mechanism like sort of a mask we wear to protect us from any attacks.Maybe as a way to boost our ego? I don't know why we do that. The other day,I was watching a group of friends catching up.Probably college students and one girl said she's grounded so her dad took her phone and laptop away.Then she paused,and in a really sad tone said,"but I don't care". Wait,did she say she don't care? Oh come on! Who are you kidding? We are in this generation where WIFI is more important than food! Like an air that you have to breath in or esle you will die.Well,maybe she meant it.Or not at all.What do I know.I'm just eavesdropping because I have all the time in the world to just sit there and eavesdrop on other people.Just kidding.I'm having lunch and these girls really have loud voices that for one second I thought their vocal chords might have a built in microphone or speakers. We really say things we don't mean and on top of that,we use words in a totally different meaning.Maybe it's about time to replace Webster or every dictionary there is in the world to avoid confusion.When you are in the middle of an exciting conversation and your friend said " shut up" in a really high pitch happy tone and you said "I know right" and someone listening near you who is not so much aware of what you mean might think you both just escape from a mental hospital. Well,apparently today "shut up" means keep talking. Today,when someone said "I am dying.Literally" means the other way around.No one died literally. When someone says "fuck you,or fuck me" doesn't mean they are offering their body to you for free but they mean you stay away from them because you obviously piss them off. Seriously,I don't mean to offend you but well,the person was already offended."I'm so sorry sir " doesn't mean they are sorry but it was meant to buy time and prove their point.Or well,it's an expression. "Hope to see you" means I do not want to see you! When someone said I've missed you,well don't celebrate because in some cases they mean I miss having my time alone and I don't want seeing you.And the most use expression and yet most abused one,"I love you". I love you.I think the meaning and power of it eventually lost in time and people might have some confusion using it. People can easily say I love you like how they love the color of their sneakers.They say I love you like how they love to put a mascara or make up.Most people use it as an expression and doesn't even mean it at all anymore. Maybe to some,it still means the same but in most cases they don't mean it at all.
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This happens when I try to rest my mind but I keep thinking and I seem to keep remembering what I have been thinking and I ended writing them.
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